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Fear and a bit of me

Mom and Me | jenneng


So here’s a bit about me. As a kid I loved art, what kid didn’t? I loved drawing and painting and was lucky enough to have encouragement through my parents (somewhat) and my teachers through out my school years. Art class was the only subject I excelled in. I did average in math and science but art, I was always an A++ student. In high school I had a teacher that brought art to another level. He taught us the feeling and meaning behind it all, exposed us to all different kinds of mediums and styles. He pushed everyone of us further into learning by taking extra classes outside of his – always stating the fact that we live in the greatest city of art. At the age of 15 I was already taking summer and weekend classes at FIT, Parsons and Cooper Union.

I chose Parsons for my undergrad along with a few friends and we began our journey trying to be artists. To tell you the truth I struggled there. I had doubts and fear about art and what kind of career I would have. You see, my parents are very “normal” and traditional – with the mind set “you must work a steady job, save money, get married and have kids”. I was torn.

As I continued I feared even more, I decided to leave after three years and went on to study computer science. What was I thinking? My fear took me to the complete opposite, the practical path. I had so many math and physics classes. I sat in front of computers all day writing programs. I did good surprisingly – I was able to think out solutions and analyze code. But still, what was I thinking?

I couldn’t change my major again so I just stuck it out and finished my years at programming. In hindsight, if only my fear didn’t take over I might have figured out who and what I am sooner. So who and what am I now? to be continued …

Fear is a powerful force and life is too short to live by that. When has fear overpowered you? What did you have to do to overcome it? Or are you still sometimes hindered by it?

{photo source: my dad}